Fearless

As I am gradually moving out of my winter space, I have been thinking about what I would like to leave behind, things that no longer serve me. What would I like more of? I know straight away, and it is this. Fearlessness. Big strong roots, so that I may journey through my life without sometimes feeling crushed and small. I watch my children running at life with a big "Yes", and wonder when I last had such a rush of abandon, of joy, just because I could.

One of Theo's favourite things is to hurl himself off the side of hills, and there is plenty of scope for it here in Stroud. He fills me with awe. And I can't help thinking, 'when did I lose that part of me that would jump out into unknown space with a big shout'. When did my thunder start to fade? When did I begin to hesitate, and wonder how much it would hurt, or cost me? And can I get it back? There is a roar in me I know.....it just needs a little reclaiming. I would like to be a little braver, a little more willing to step out of that circle of things I know, feel happy with, and trust. Perhaps I could finally face down those things that frighten the life out of me - and there are plenty. I might even leap off the odd (very small) hill next Spring. Now that would make my children smile......